Sunday, November 16, 2008

November is halfway over, so in theory I should be halfway through writing a 50,000-word novel. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I have a Word document with words in it. Word. But. The measly quantity of words I have created is discouraging at this halfway point. Maybe in a few days I will surge forward in a rush of panic, and churn out thousands of words of rubbish very quickly, setting an uncomfortable pace for the rest of the month that guarantees both quantity and lack of quality.

I am a perfectionist/procrastinator. It's one of my biggest problems. I've always been a procrastinator, but it was a long time before I realized that not wanting to settle for crap was at least part of it (in addition to the laziness factor). This is why I sit in front of blank screens, continually typing and deleting. I want to see my product fully formed on the page; I want to edit it word by word as I go. This is the kind of approach that doesn't work for NaNoWriMo.

Somehow I managed to write a novel last year that you could maybe call a novel. It's a story. There's a progression. I didn't have a grand master plan when I started; what I had was a ton of enthusiasm and a night-owl nature. I did procrastinate. But in the last two weeks I plowed through it and basically wrote the whole thing. I was utterly focused on it. The novel was my focus. It was nice to have a focus removed from real-life problems. NaNoWriMo lets you do that--say fuck everything else, for this month. I'm going to be in my own head and get these words out and share the experience with some other people, maybe.

This month I have been very distracted by all kinds of other things; I haven't been able to release my problems and sink into the comfort of the novel.

I hereby decide that my poor neglected novel--the novel I have bragged for months that I was going to write, the novel in whose company are lots of other novels by my dedicated friends who are really pursuing this crazy project--will become my focus for the rest of the month, till it's done. The guitar calluses forming on my left hand fingertips will have to languish and be rebuilt again.

Snow is here. Dark comes early. Lots of writing time.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

My novel is languishing in total lame-osity. It's freezing. I need to get some hunting gloves. Not to hunt. But because apparently regular gloves aren't enough for my skinny fingers.

It's barely 5 on Saturday and it's dark. Dark, cold. Maybe I will just hibernate. I have plenty of movies I haven't watched . . . lots of coffee . . . and a really gassy canine companion. And of course a novel to painfully wrench out of me, one word at a time.

Friday, November 07, 2008

decreasing temperatures and increasing word counts

I recently remembered that I started a blog some time back, and I bragged about it a lot, and coerced people to look at it and bookmark it. I spewed some useless musings and complaints onto it, then forgot about it in mid-July. So, you might think that life either got so busy and exciting or I got so listless and despondent that updates were no longer possible. Well, neither. Stuff has changed since July, that’s for sure. But really, I’ve just been doing that whole starting-a-project-and-then-abandoning-it thing that has proved so successful over the years.

A good motivator for writing an update is the fact that I really should be writing something else, so this is actually a form of procrastination. But! Useful procrastination. I’ll explain. On November first, I embarked on the thirty-day journey known as NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. My novel is in its infancy, and it’s a really ugly little bastard, but the lovely thing is that anything I write this month is fair game for cramming into my novel. So, if I feel pressed, I can take something unrelated, like this here little blog entry, and paste it into my novel. I could write it in as a blog post written or being read by my protagonist, or . . . anything, really. Maybe she's hearing voices. It’s my novel. It could become a piece of mass propaganda that incites entire nations to bloodshed. Or to embracing peace. The novel doesn’t have to make sense, you know--it just has to be 50,000 words by November 30.

I feel like last year I was much more conscientious about writing my novel, but you know what, no. I totally slacked off, and then wrote most of it in the last two weeks. It was a sweaty, insane feat that took a lot of sleep time away. But was totally worth it when I was done and somehow ended up with a somewhat cohesive chunk of words. I remember, Maria called me at some ridiculous early hour on the 30th saying she was done, and I freaked out because I still had a ways to go. I basically finished within the hour of the deadline, uploaded my document, then went out to Norm's with Kristine, Chris, and Kenny and celebrated with bottomless hot chocolate and decadent breakfast food.

Overall, last year’s novel is pretty shallow, with bland, poorly developed characters, but I really like parts of it anyway. NaNoWriMo is giving us folks who won last year (you’re termed a winner if you make it to the 50,000 word point and upload your novel by midnight on the last day) a chance to have our novel printed and bound like a real book, with cover art of our own design. But there’s six months for us to redeem this prize, so some people I know (Kristine) are holding out to have this year’s novel bound instead of last year’s. I dunno--so far I like last year’s better. But we’ll see. I’m actually considering starting over entirely, not deleting anything I’ve written but just sticking it in at the end for word count.

Last year was fun; Kristine and I would oftentimes go eat soup at Corner Bakery and then go to Peet’s and write until they closed. Toward the end, I got in the habit of going by myself to Barnes & Noble and writing until 11 pm when they closed. I remember it being so cold when I would head to my car to drive home--sheesh, how cold could it really have been? It was freaking Aliso Viejo, California, for gosh sakes. I would talk to Maria on my phone on the five-minute drive home, then keep talking to her after I parked (plans of moving to Chicago had yet to be made but would be made during lots of similar phone calls in the spring). I don’t have a routine yet this year, even though Maria and I live together and we’re both noveling . . . we’re both still trying to get it together.

Aside from noveling, the major development I’ve undergone in the past few months (from a grown-up, responsibility and tax-paying perspective) is scoring a job at the University of Chicago Press. The position is entry-level--I’m an editorial assistant, like I was at BowTie--but I get to edit and I am now in at probably the most prestigious university press in the country. I couldn’t be more pleased, and it doesn’t hurt that my parents are incredibly proud of me and fully approve my moving to Chicago for this outcome. Book publishing is not a lucrative industry for most in its ranks, but there are not that many positions to be filled, so I have to consider myself incredibly lucky to have found such a prime spot for myself. It’s also the sort of career that will give me room (and keep me in the right mindset) for writing someday as well as taking on freelance editorial projects.

My writing aspirations this summer--comedy writing classes at Second City--fizzled out a little bit, but I’m hoping to reenroll some term soon. I have so many creative goals and am always disappointed in myself for not fulfilling them. I recently joined forces with a small group of Chicago girls who play musical instruments but who, like me, find themselves stuck at beginner’s status--we’re trying to meet occasionally to play together and hopefully get better and who knows, maybe becoming a performing act someday.

It’s getting cold in Chicago. If you’re from SoCal, you should gather up some warm wooly clothing items and come visit me soon--we can enjoy the snow together as a novelty. I’m actually kind of excited, but I’m told that the novelty will wear off very quickly.

Alright, I’ll leave you with a little excerpt from last year’s novel, to inspire me to get going on this year’s:

“Mia Ann, Mia Ann.” It was Robert, columnist and copyeditor extraordinaire. I didn’t dare ask him about my comma conundrum. I would end up having to listen to a tedious half-hour-long explanation that went way beyond my actual question and ventured into either impossibly inapplicable information that I would never remember let alone use, or veered back to square one and into the negative, patronizing me with things that I already knew.
“Hey, Robert.” I poised my hand over my mouse and looked up at his rotund figure standing above me. He had the stomach-hanging-over-the-belt look going on, and the view from my chair was almost entirely dominated by said stomach.
“Mia Ann, you were an English major,” he stated. It was true, so I just looked at him, having no response to this. “Okay, so what is it called when you substitute a word for another, similar sounding, word? It’s cute and catchy, like, this: Paws and Reflect. Paws as in P-A-W-S.” He spelled out the word. I looked at him and said nothing. “It’s a book that my wife bought,” he added.
“Hmm,” I said. “A pun?”
“No, no, that is not it,” Robert said derisively, already turning to walk away.
“You know,” I said, “I learned about so many obscure rhetorical devices in high school and college, I can’t remember them all. But I’ll figure it out.”
“Don’t spend your afternoon on it,” he said.
I actually did want a break from mentally wrestling with a hypothetical comma, so I Googled “rhetorical devices” and came up with a page on some university’s Web site listing every literary trick known to the world. I scanned them all. I found this:
Paronomasia: use of similar sounding words; often etymological word play.
That seemed to describe what Robert had asked me about. So I Googled the term paronomasia, and what did I find out? It’s a fancy word for pun.
Well, it may have been said by many literary greats that a pun is the lowest form of humor, and I’m sure Robert liked to think that his interest in language was based on the most sophisticated of tastes. But it was just a plain old pun. I sent him an e mail:
Robert,
Turns out it is a pun. From Wikipedia: “A pun (or paronomasia) is a phrase that deliberately exploits confusion between similar words for rhetorical effect, whether humorous or serious. For example, the sentence ‘the world is perspiring against me’ is a pun on the paranoid's motto ‘the world is conspiring against me’, that exploits the similarity between ‘conspiring’ and ‘perspiring’.”
Mia Ann
I knew I would come off as a brat who had to get the last word, but I didn’t care. I wanted him to feel stupid, because he had tried to make me feel stupid when I was right. I was tired of him and his self importance. And I could send the message under the innocent guise of delivering information he had requested and I had promised.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

OMG! The US Postal Service strikes again. (With "again" I allude to my previous scuffles with this organization of scoundrels.) I ordered some stuff from Amazon. Strangers with Candy and Mr. Show DVDs. The estimated arrival date was yesterday. Okay, fine. Well, according to the tracking, the package spent two days in Forest Park, IL (which is a suburb of Chicago that I could get to on the Blue Line if I wanted to), was "scanned for arrival" twice, and then went to....LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY.

Awesome!!!!

Today was nuts; I was out n about for fourteen hours or something like that, and my backpack kept getting heavier throughout the day. I ended up ditching my bike (well, locking it up of course) and taking a cab home because I felt like my spinal column was about to collapse into itself.

That's it, really, just checking in. Many days of working ahead of me. Tomorrow I will have to go pick up my bike. Maybe I'll get a wireless router. Maybe I won't!! You'll just have to stay tuned.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

OK, so I may have said recently that I was going to write every day. May have? Did. Well, see, that was like a self-intimidation device to encourage me to write. Compare this, me posting every few days, to the old pattern of me posting every few months, and wouldn't you say that my self-intimidation tactics have been a success? It's like when a little kid won't eat what's on her plate and her parents ask her to take five bites of peas, then lower the minimum to two bites, then to two peas, then push away any extraneous bread or side dishes and say "just eat the meat." See, I'm sparing you the dispensable calories and just giving you the lean protein.

Today was a long, sweaty day. I woke my ass up early (actually, my ass woke itself up without an alarm somehow) to go to the dentist to be evaluated for braces. I rode my bike and arrived ten minutes late and very sweaty. The dentist himself was incredulous at my mention of braces, I guess because my teeth are pretty darn straight. Indeed, I have something of a reputation for my straight teeth; my dad claims hereditary responsibility. The thing is, though, literally two days before I left California, my last dentist in Irvine dropped the ridiculous bomb on me that I may need braces. The reason being that I have a misaligned bite that causes my upper and lower teeth to smack into one another, whereas a healthy bite would have more of a space in between.

So, I am going to have another appointment at which they will "take pictures" and "do a workup" to see if I need the braces. We'll see. I liked the dentist a lot, Dr. Siegal. Normally I am wary of dental offices with catchy names, but I didn't have much to go on other than Yelp reviews, and I got a good impression at the office. The practice is called Big Smile Dental, and not only does it have a catchy name, but it also has an over-the-top ridiculous sign. See my photo above. (Yay my first photo-within-blog; I am so excited. Sorry I don't yet know how to align it properly. Help.) How freaking awesome is that. It's a giant row of teeth, a dentist-looking mannequin dude, and the, um, I don't know, tooth fairy? In the questionnaire I filled out, one of the questions was, "If you had a magic wand that could instantly fix any problems with your teeth, what would you change?" or something to that effect, so maybe the tooth fairy actually does more than just sneak into your house to steal your teeth and leave a paltry tip. Anyway, I was amused by the sign, and I guess my new rule to dentists is, if you're gonna have a silly name, you better have a bizarre, campy storefront to back it up.

So while I am getting used to posting photos, here is another photo I took today, right after my dental appointment. It's my bike, posing alone in all its glory. It's kind of a tall bike for me, but the seat is lowered all the way, so it works OK. I feel pretty comfortable on it. Today, though, it has been squeaking when I pedal--something to get looked at. Though I guess this way I don't need a bell to alert passers-by that I'm coming...I'm pretty conspicuous.

So, after my appointment I biked over to a Panera Bread, which was one of my So-Cal lunchtime haunts. I ordered the same Mediterranean Veggie sandwich that I always ordered at the Panera on Rockfield and Lake Forest, and I pined for the Mediterranean climate that I left behind.

After scribbling out my comedy writing homework, I biked to Second City (at North and Wells, in the Old Town area of the city). It's the second-to-last class of the term, so we presented pitches for our very first real comedy sketch, which we will write this week to read in class next week. I need to sign up for the next level, Writing I. I like having these semi-educational, semi-recreational hobbies; because I don't have any friends, it's important that I find something to do.

So, this week I must apply myself to both my comedy writing and (more importantly) my manuscript editing class, as they are both ending soon. And then little Kailee has to figure out what the heck she is doing in Chicago...

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I made it through Saturday brunch unscathed, minus the coffee smudge that was on my arm all day, which I kept mistaking for a bruise. Sunday threatens to come ever so soon. So I sleep. And tomorrow hope to write something of substance.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Previously on Kailee's Blog: In a moment of foolish optimism, Kailee made a public commitment to post something every day.

To avoid disappointing the three people who might read this, I am here the following day, doing what I said I would.

I am stupid tired (I have a coworker who uses the word stupid like that; like she says we get stupid busy during brunch) because I went to a coworker's karaoke bash last night, went to sleep really late, and then went to work at 9. Karaoke was one crazy time. Karaoke is one of the anomalies of my otherwise shy demeanor (I mean around folks I don't know well or strangers). The other anomalies are dancing and talking about Wheaten Terriers. (I accost people when I see them walking Wheatens. It's like seeing my own Dusty dog but usually a bigger, healthier, less insane version.) For some reason I require only minimal encouragement and/or arm-twisting before I'm up on stage with Larry the "KJ" belting out "Borderline."

So, I went to work and it was a mercifully slow day so I got out of early (or rather, on time, but I usually get out late) and had plenty of time before my editing class. And tomorrow I have a lovely, wonderful, much appreciated day off. I plan to sleep in. I don't know what else I am doing. Everything else is irrelevant when compared with the grand task of sleeping in. Remember, people, I am a sleeping-in kind of person.

So I want to write about my class(es) but right now, as stated earlier, I am too tired. So I'm gonna wash my face and get ready to sleep. First, though, I will give you some brief lists.

Things I am looking forward to:

Trip to San Diego (I will also visit peeps in OC and/or LA) the first week of August for my grandma's 80th birthday party
Starting guitar lessons (frickin' finally) next Wednesday at Avenue N Guitars
Writing my first real comedy sketch for my class at Second City
Earlimart show at the Hideout on July 26
Regan and David visiting us in Chicago in August
Getting contacts
Getting our apartment cute and comfy

Things I am not looking forward to:
Probably getting braces
Eye exam
Saturday and Sunday brunch "coffee crises" and "barista moments"

Things that are weird (to me) about Chicago:
Ridiculous weather
Ridiculous widespread affinity for patio seating

Things I miss about CA:
Thai Bite (Yellow curry with tofu and vegetables. It's called Gaeng Pak. Go there. Order it.)
Wahoo's Fish Taco
The Neighborhood Cup
Ridiculously awesome weather (so it's true. I had never given it much thought.)
My peeps, including the wee ones (nieces & nephews), the not-so-wee-anymore one (Morrie, who just turned 14. WTF!) and the adorable crazy dog
My car